Friday, February 28th, 2014

Lighthouse Lakes Residents were on edge on the night of Tuesday, February 25th as a string of house egg-ings became on the rise. One resident in particular, Aron Knight, became the victim of a drive-by egg-ing. When asked about the incident, Mr. Knight made the following statement; "I feel that, as a former Police Chief, this kind of behavior, while funny, is unacceptable and should be dealt with sternly, so it sends a message to all the would be vandals of Lighthouse Lakes that, while petty, such acts of aggression will be dealt with strictly and those responsible brought to justice to be held accountable for their actions."  Lighthouse Lakes Police are urging residents to report any suspicious activity immediately. A person of interest in the egg-ings is being investigated and Lighthouse Lakes police urge residents to watch out for one another and report any suspicious activity immediately.


All was quiet on Wednesday, February 26, 2014 when a mystery streaker took to the streets wearing nothing but underwear and a KFC bucket on his head. Editor in Chief, Emily Hax gave chase in her newsvan but lost the suspect soon after. “He was just too quick…..one minute I saw him running in front of the van and the next thing I knew he was gone!” says Hax. “I tried to ask him if he was doing this as a prank or protest but he wouldn’t speak…just ran off!”  Ms. Hax was reporting on the incident when the Herald cameras caught a glimpse of the streaker as he ran behind the reporter. Lighthouse Lakes Police has been notified of the event and will be on the lookout for any further occurrences. If anyone has any information on this mystery streaker, they are urged to contact police.


NO ANNOUNCEMENTS THIS WEEK!


Happy RL or SL Birthday wishes to the following:



No deaths to report in Lighthouse Lakes! This makes us happy!



DEAR E. JEAN : I've lived with this guy for two years. He seems to have long-term potential, but despite our possessing significant funds, he refuses to buy—or allow me to buy—furniture, paint, fabric, etc., to improve our home beyond its current dorm-room design. He's in Europe working right now. Should I leave? Or wait for him to see the light?—Tired of the Beer-Spattered Sofa
TIRED, SWEETIE : Yes, show him the new light...and the new chair, the new sofa, and the new wall color. You do not need the tightwad's permission to spend your own money on your own home! Gawd! He sounds like a twit.

DEAR E. JEAN: I’m a husband with a wonderful wife. Before my marriage, I mentioned to her that at one time in my life I liked wearing women’s clothing, especially lingerie. She let the subject drop, I did not pursue it, and I stopped doing it. But recently the urge has returned. Is it wrong for me to do it?
—What Is Happening to Me?
MR. WHAT: A plague on all dudes who lack imagination! Women’s lingerie is so ravishing that I’m amazed all men don’t wear it. Come on. You control your own body and may wear what you please. If a human being can’t wear what he or she wants, why get dressed at all? Just as a husband may not tell a wife how much she should weigh, a wife may not tell a husband to wear boxers instead of a garter belt under his trousers. It is perfectly correct, however, for your wife to nix your frilly duds in bed if they turn her off.



Each week, the Masoma Herald will print a fabulous recipe for all of its residents to try out in RL if they so choose. Enjoy this week's yummy treat!


Roast Beef Sandwiches

Ingredients
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup spicy mustard
3 to 4 tablespoons poppy seeds
3 tablespoons grated onion
1 tablespoon horseradish mayonnaise
Dash of Worcestershire
12 soft hamburger buns, sliced in half
1 pound thinly shaved roast beef
8 ounces sliced provolone
8 ounces American cheese
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Mix together the mayo, mustard, poppy seeds, grated onion, horseradish mayo and Worcestershire. Taste the dressing and adjust the ingredients however you wish.

To assemble, spread the dressing on the top and bottom buns. On the bottom bun, lay on some provolone, roast beef and American cheese, and place the top bun on top. Repeat with the next sandwich.

Wrap each sandwich in a foil square, and either bake right away or keep in the fridge. To bake right away, put them on a baking sheet in the oven until the buns are slightly crusty and the cheese is melted, 15 to 20 minutes. Great for a crowd!



Chewy Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies  


1 cup butter, softened
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups quick-cooking oats
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
Directions
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).

In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt; stir into the creamed mixture until just blended. Mix in the quick oats, walnuts, and chocolate chips. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.



******************************************************
Have an announcement to share with Lighthouse Lakes? Need to have an event advertised here? Please contact Emily Hax (emilyjacobson) with your information via notecard.

Deadline for submissions is every Thursday. The Herald is posted on Fridays.

For more information, please contact the editor, Emily Hax (emilyjacobson)
***********************************************************